I Only Trust Myself
I Only Trust Myself is a song about breaking free from society's perception and expectations of you and being an independent person. It’s about society having a path in mind for you to walk but it doesn’t align with what you want or who you are. A huge source of inspiration for this song was the movie Divergent. I wrote this song because I value society’s perception more than I should, and I’m not the only one.
It can feel terrifying to see everyone around you moving in one direction and you going another way and that can apply to many aspects of life: having a career that’s different, not wanting kids, sexual preference, gender, the pressure of family honor, …
This song makes you feel how liberating it is to live life on your own terms. Once you know what you want in life and you put away the fear of being perceived a certain way, there’s absolutely nothing that can stop you.
It’s about being on that very edge where you’re ready to chase what you want. Knowing you can’t go back. The fear you feel in that moment, not knowing what’s to come.
We tell people to be themselves, but do so within certain boundaries. In some cases, “being you” even means breaking with your family.
Josephine decided to make a video to go along with the song… her goal was to make something relatable to as many people as possible, to make them feel seen.
She interviewed some people within the LGBTQ community, some of her Muslim friends, some black friends or people of a different culture in general, people in their 40’s, etc. As many different people as possible. Eventually we had 12 pages of input for the video. It was a challenge to turn it into a compact, interesting video and still include all the input.
The quotes on the screen are statements we don’t agree with and against our expectations, it became a bit controversial… because unfortunately, people agree with certain statements, the limiting beliefs and stereotypes. The goal of the video is to make people think like “hey, I don’t agree with 80% of the statements in here, but what about the other 20%” and have them think about that.
Divergent
Divergent was a huge inspiration for this song. In this movie, people are divided into factions, to make sure they serve society in the best way possible. Everyone gets to take a personality test which decides which faction they should choose to ensure success within the faction system. These are not always the same as the factions people were born into.
There are also factionless, people who aren’t welcome into any faction. Comparable to being homeless.
You’re allowed to choose the faction you desire regardless of the test result, but once you make a decision you can’t go back.
So, in this movie, choosing your own happiness over other’s expectation might cause you to lose your loved ones. To some of you, that idea sounds awefully familiar.
If you don’t do well in your faction, you have a chance of being exiled so to speak and become factionless.
There’s also the “divergent” people who fit into multiple factions. They can’t be controlled and thus form a threat, they are hunted down for being this different. At a certain point in the movie, everyone is under mind control, except the divergent, when they expose themselves, they’re eliminated.
Hence the lyrics
“I know I don’t really fit in the system they built”
”I can’t resist to refuse to walk in their ways”
”don’t wanna fall in line, they all look so blind”, referring to the mind control moment.
”face the odds on the edge of it all, getting ready to fall”, referring to the moment all dauntless have to jump down a building.
Lyrics
Something’s hiding out
See it lurking in the shadows and I’m crossing my heart
That I’m not the one
That they’re coming to get cause I’m still too young
Too be taken out
I know I don’t really fit in the system they built
Got a path laid out
But I can’t resist to refuse to walk in their ways
I’m a puppet
My strings cut off now
And I’m trying to get out
But they know what you’re up to
Before you do yourself
I am in need of some help
Don’t wanna fall in line
They all look so blind
So yeah, I only trust myself
Keep ‘em on their toes
Come and get me now cause I’m already on my way out
They already know
Where to look to find me yet I’m keeping in every sound
Take another breath
Figured it might be my last, make my lungs explode
You bet I’m fearless now
But nothing is further from the truth
Face the odds
On the edge of it all
Getting ready to fall
Each man for himself
I am in need of some help
Don’t wanna fall in line
They all look so blind
So yeah, I only trust myself
The sound of I Only Trust Myself
I only trust myself is an empowering pop song. The cool antartic sounding synth is one of the aspects that sets it apart from the rest of Josephine’s discography.
“This is definitely one of my more minimalistic songs, there’s no harmonies at all, which is crazy to me, I live and breathe harmonies, but this one is really fresh and clean”
It’s playful, sexy, vibey, the heavier bass in the second chorus adds some weight to the otherwise light beat.
“The meaning behind the song makes up for the minimal sound big time”, although it might go over most people’s heads. In terms of meaning behind the song, this is definitely my favorite.
“I wanted the artwork to represent breaking free from society’s expectations and prejudices”. This was our first collaboration with artist Beanie Draws. Who would later design the phoerictor for Enemy.
Our gratitude goes to…
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@beaniedraws
Beanie Draws is an amazing artist known for his detailed drawings of dinosaurs, we hired him for the artwork of the phoerictor. Earlier on he created the artwork for I Only Trust Myself.
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Allison Clift-Jennings
Allison is the CTO of Tonic Audio Labs, which we use to collaborate on Josephine’s music, she’s responsible for the mixing and mastering on I Only Trust Myself as well as Bitter Pill and she guided Josephine on mixing Enemy herself.