Fall In Love
After the relationship referenced by “Last I See” I tried out Facebook dating. I marked this cute guy I knew as “secret crush”, he got a notification, not saying who it was. Only if both parties mark each other as secret crush, you’d be revealed to each other. He had a hunch that it was me. After being matched, I was through the roof… until he revealed not to be interested and that he just wanted to see if he was right.
After writing this song, we started dating.
Occupied
Lockdown was still a thing. We weren’t ready for each other and we eventually drifted apart. I was heartbroken as I had tried to be everything he wanted in a woman.
I was furious because I couldn’t possibly meet his ridiculous expectations. It was like he had this checklist ready, and he couldn’t see ME.
Which is how “Occupied” came to be.
Lyrics Occupied
I have never felt so disgusted
Confirmed you can’t be trusted
I can’t let you go, cause you smell blood
Desparate for anyone
To hold the heart you can’t love
It’s heavy once it turned to stone
And I just can’t win
Cause you’re in front of me
A checklist in your hand
But you don’t take the time to read
I need stability
And love it isn’t easy
But you, you complicate
The things that normally are clear
You’re drowning in troubled water
And I can’t be bothered
To save someone like you
Can’t you see that you’re so indifferent
Your perception’s switching
Cause your mind is only occupied with you
Occupied
I just fixed my heart with tape
I date boys that I mistake for men
Cause I see what I wanna see
There’s a desert in my mind
It’s lonely so I create life
Turns out that you were just a mirage
Can’t you see the person I’m inside
That I too deserve to smile
That I just want to be alright
Can’t you see it’s actually kind of sad
That I’m what you’ll never have
Cause you don’t look at me like that
Lyrics Fall In Love
I feel so stupid now, how could someone like you ever love me back
I should protect myself I think I need some help to find my way back
Cause now you finally told me what’s really on your mind
I feel like I’m hungover
Was racing through the clouds
Now all I’m thinking ‘bout
Is call me when you’re sober
I fall in love and then I break
Too fragile to make a mistake
I’m falling into pieces
The peace that I knew
Was never there
I thought I would find it with you
Can we go back in time
Erase this from our minds and just be friends
It might be for the best
Can’t be myself when there is someone to impress
Cause I forgot how to feel
Stuck in my head and I can’t get out
I woke up shattered and weak
I need someone to help figure me out
I fall in love and then I break
Too fragile to make a mistake
I’m falling into pieces
The peace that I knew
Was never there
I thought I would find it with you
Created a narrative where love was equal
But I am just fooling myself, cause you don’t feel it too.
I fall in love and then I break
Too fragile to make a mistake
I’m falling into pieces
The peace that I knew
Was never there
I thought I would find it with you
Bare Minimum
I think I started writing this song in early 2024. I felt like there were so many little things he could do that he just didn’t. When he would text me or ask how I was doing I’d put him on a pedestal for it. This song was the first step to realising we weren’t a fit anymore.
I felt I was getting the bare minimum in terms of love, communication, emotional intelligence or any kind of effort at all.
Lyrics Bare Minimum
I would rather just be single than put up with all your shit
Had you wonder ‘bout my worth you underestimated it
You can’t walk the talk if you remain seated in your couch
Started showing you my colors, now I’d rather show you out
You got me tangled by the mouth
I’m overshadowed by your clouds
Now everything is going south, south
Why do I keep begging for the minimum
If there is other men then I might just consider them
You give me all you got, but your best is the minimum
B-b-bare minimum
Minimum
Life can be sour by itself but you’re lik vinegar
I must be butthurt because something isn’t sitting well
Used to be reaching for the stars but now I’m cynical
B-b-bare minimum
I’m so out of reach, yeah
I practice what I preach and
You are quite the leech
But you can’t get underneath
I do it how I like
I’m the one to roll the dice
There’s trouble in my eyes
Exactly how I like
I’m so sick of pleasing anyone but me
I think there’s better things ahead
Can’t see them yet, my vision’s slowly getting clear
I feel better when alone
I’m sorry but I gotta go
I got used to being on my own
I am still and forever will be grateful for this relationship despite its ending. This man showed me I could trust again.
I could love again. We’ve had a lot of beautiful moments together. He supported me through a lot of my worst, like losing my father. He gave me a family when I felt like I was losing my own. We laughed so much. We loved so much. I will always have love and support for him and carry him in my heart.